I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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