sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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