Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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