singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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