Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
