I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
