I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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