I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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