You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
