playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Your penis caused this!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
