I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
In America we eat man semen.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
