I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
