At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
