Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
