A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Buhtt sex?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she peed on how many people?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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