i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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