so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
