you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Come on in and take your pants off
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