your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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