Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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