What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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