A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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