one might say we're banned from that church
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
