Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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