Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
