This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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