people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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