i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
