Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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