pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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