why didn't you poke me back
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
