Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
