shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
