is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
