i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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