I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize