You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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