i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
