It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
