how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's just like the Real World with babies
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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