I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize