do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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