People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
