GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
