...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
