we're blogging at a bar
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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