Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
