worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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