Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
