I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
