I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
