new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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