doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
