hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
