he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
