There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize