When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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