ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
