I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
